May
22
2012

Parenting Conflict

When my son was born he was not delivered with a user manual attached to him. My husband and I went through endless trials and errors raising him and we are still learning. It can be quite an adventure – rewarding one moment, challenging the next split second.

Raising a child is no different from marriage; it is all about give and take. Playing the role of a co-parent is no easy task. It requires a big deal of patience, understanding and tolerance. While we both may have the same aim – to raise our child into a healthy adult, we may not have the same approach.

Communication and awareness

The key to avoid or get out of conflict is to talk things out. Discuss with your spouse what is the discipline method best accepted by both parties. Many new parent’s approach on parenting is based on their childhood experience. Some might have been brought up in corporal punishment and believes that his/her own offspring should be disciplined the same way. If you vehemently oppose corporal punishment you must justify your argument with your spouse.

Equality

Discuss in a respectful manner. Keep in mind that both of you are equal. Do not show authority over your spouse. One rule we should always adhere to is – Never undermine your spouse or your spouse’s parenting in front of your children. Children learn important life skills when they deal with parents with conflicts on parenting skills. A child will learn to ask Dad for things he knows Mum won’t approve of and vice versa.

Take a note that a child will learn to manage disagreement through the way his/her parents handle conflicts in their household. Always keep in mind that our children are a mirror image of us. Be gracious and they will turn out to be alright.

Despite all the disagreements or conflicts, you know that you and your spouse only strive for what is best for the children. Just relax, negotiate and you will both find a mutual point of agreement somewhere in the middle :)

15 Comments + Add Comment

  • //

    Yes, parenthood is a partnership. Will have to work together, no conflict – or definitely not in front of the children, settle amicably in private…to maintain peace and harmony. Same everywhere lah! At the workplace, in the country, in the world.

    [Reply]

    Merryn Reply:

    I know some couples fight in front of their kids. And I also know some couples whom the mother will scold the father in front of the child, making the child lose respect for the father and ended up scolding the father too. The father being the bread winner is being treated so small at home.. -.-

    [Reply]

  • //

    Errr…my wife is the boss at home….so no conflict! Its dictatorship! All listen to her…hehehe…

    [Reply]

    Merryn Reply:

    That’s becoz you are seldom around… But knowing you, bagus pun you kena dictatorship! :P

    [Reply]

    Christopher Reply:

    >_<

    [Reply]

  • //

    hmmm too bad i wasn’t raised that way. my parents always quarrel. =(
    i must make sure i remember this next time when i got my own kids. =)

    [Reply]

  • //

    Thanks for sharing this post. We are trying our best to compromise with our different parenting way.

    [Reply]

  • //

    Very true.. Thank u for the reminding… We forgot sometimes… :p

    [Reply]

  • //

    Oops…I made some of mistakes in this area. Thanks for the nice write up.

    [Reply]

  • //

    Thanks for the reminder, Merryn. I used to forget those ‘audiences’ when my blood was boiling back then, but now trying the very best to behave *breath in, breath out* during disagreement :)

    [Reply]

  • //

    good sharing. the basics that all parents should adhere to.

    [Reply]

  • //

    Thanks for the reminder. Sometimes it’s hard to control right fighting in front of the kids because it’s in the heat of the moment. I don’t know about you. Maybe it’s easier for you.

    [Reply]

  • //

    Yeah, not easy.. both parties must sit down discuss. A big challenging job to parents nowadays.. Always the phrase “monkey see monkey do” child learning very fast

    [Reply]

  • //

    I’m still learning, still……

    [Reply]

  • //

    one day my generation is gonna experience all these :P

    [Reply]

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MeHome is where MY heart is.
I am a mother to two boys; Ethan and Ayden and a wife to Darling William. I'm a stay at home mum who blogs to break the monotony of life and to avoid feeling jaded. Would love to get to know all the Super Mommies and Daddies and Babies or Singles out there with the hope that we can learn more from each other. Most of all, I am a happy person, and I hope YOU are too.

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