May
10
2010

Handling Tantrum

Many parents find disciplining a toddler to be a very difficult task. Some would take the ‘easy’ way out by resorting to military style disciplining. Unfortunately this method usually only involves a one-way communication where the parents dictate and the toddlers listen, or rather are forced to listen.

The more patient parents will use various methods of disciplining a toddler. There is no one sure way to discipline a toddler. It usually involves around the current situation when the ‘behaviour mischief’ takes place.

If you ask me how to discipline your child, chances are I won’t be able to give you a straight forward answer as to discipline a child, you must first know your child. As a stay at home mother, I know my toddler very well. He hardly throws tantrum in my presence but ever since he attends play school, he cries, misbehaves and throws a big fit if things are not done according to his liking.

What I do when faced with the above situation are:

Distract
When the toddler is shouting, he won’t be listening. It makes no sense to be shouting along to gain his attention. Move him away from the ‘spot of tantrum’. A change of location, even a few steps away creates a distraction and diverts the negative energy away.

Time Out
If you have to implement a time out, remember the rule of thumb – One minute per year of age.

Limit to 2 minutes maximum of time out if your toddler is only 2 years old. He won’t usually stay in the corner so it only means you have to stand there with your back to him but avoid facial/body language to let him know it is not playtime but a means of discipline.

Eye contact and ignore
Temper tantrums are usually overly dramatic, emotional and intense. Whatever you do, refrain from snapping. Be persistent, hold him by the head, look him in the eyes and tell him that you don’t fancy him that way so let you know when he is done and only then you’ll talk will let him know that tantrum will get him nowhere and he is not in control over you.

Soft approach
You won’t like it if your boss is demanding and always instructs and treats you like a little kid. The same applies to your toddler. Treat them like an adult. Make a request rather than demanding. Give him a hanky and say, “Would you help Mummy wipe away your tears?” will definitely work better than saying, “Keep quiet and dry your tears!”

Positive reinforcement
Don’t wait until your toddler throws tantrum to pay attention to him. Some toddlers throw tantrum just to get our affection, as we are often preoccupied to notice them when they are at their best behavior.
Praise and reward them with hugs and kisses if you caught them doing good. Over time, they’ll understand that being good is more beneficial than throwing tantrum.

It takes a lot of trial and error in parenting. There is no one true answer to everything, but often all it takes is some common sense and lots of tender, loving care.

21 Comments + Add Comment

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    Wow…why suddenly write this kind of post. :) Yay! I am the first.

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    Wow….awesome. You were invited to write huh! :)

    [Reply]

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    whoaaa so nice… :) very useful tips. hehe

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    Agree.. first step is to distract. Don't pay attention or go along with their trantrums. Or the trantrum will keep on going endlessly. :)But why a baby picture for a toddler temper tantrum?

    [Reply]

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    I love your article, Merryn!!!

    [Reply]

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    I just watch and walk away…hehe. My sister has her ways on handling tantrums. Thankfully, the little one does not bawl like how some children do in shopping malls. Scary!

    [Reply]

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    Good work! Carry on… and maybe one day you have your own Mama Merryn Magazine.. 3Ms :)

    [Reply]

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    The last point can be a bit double edged…some of them will do good just for rewards…

    [Reply]

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    Congratulations. For women writers only. Do you get paid?

    [Reply]

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    Hi Merryn, very interesting and informative article. You're fantastic. Keep it up. I 've also visited Venuebuzz and dropped a comment too. Quite information site.

    [Reply]

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    Your first article was written perfectly. I think you have talent in writing. Keep it up. :)

    [Reply]

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    GREAT article, gonna flw yr style and see what happens. wanna show kelwin tonite.

    [Reply]

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    Useful tips!

    [Reply]

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    Well done Merryn! OK I'll keep this article in mind when I have my own kids next time :P

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    LOL… you are such a brilliant mum! From art and craft to parenting… bravo!Have a nice day ahead!

    [Reply]

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    Got any tips to handle 'food' tantrums? I got that all the time…..ha ha ha!

    [Reply]

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    wow.. those are very useful tips… and congrats for this article…By the way, Blog Idol just got started earlier today, you can cast your vote now, at Bluedreamer's Top FiveThanks a lot for participating!

    [Reply]

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    Very nice article! Wow, you really talented, Merryn…

    [Reply]

  • //

    parenthood is never an easy task… we have these guides to keep us on good track with our kiddostnxvelated happy mother's day to you

    [Reply]

  • //

    Great article Merryyn. Am following u on the board of Venusbuzz soon too..

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    hi merryn just visiting you herehave a great day and happy blogging my friend!

    [Reply]

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MeHome is where MY heart is.
I am a mother to two boys; Ethan and Ayden and a wife to Darling William. I'm a stay at home mum who blogs to break the monotony of life and to avoid feeling jaded. Would love to get to know all the Super Mommies and Daddies and Babies or Singles out there with the hope that we can learn more from each other. Most of all, I am a happy person, and I hope YOU are too.

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