Oct
3
2012

iFart

Darling and I have been together for almost 15 years now. Throughout these 15 years he has never, EVER heard me fart! Seriously! There are so many things I can do in front of him but the ONE thing I won’t do in his presence is farting. Really. Why should I when the art of farting has no sex appeal whatsoever? It doesn’t hold any advantages and worse is it just pollutes the air so I better keep it to myself.

I always frown if Darling decides to let go wind and amplify it to the max. His defense will always be the same, “You don’t fart one kah? Kenot control wan u know. Suffer lah liddis if kentot oso must control-control”. And he’ll ALWAYS add, “How come I NEVER hear you kentot before? U don’t kentot one ah? You telan balik one is it?” >_<

Sometimes when I really feels gassy and needs to let go wind, I’ll fake a loud cough or something just to cover up the explosion, you know? But that rarely happens lah as I (just like any other reputable ladies out there) have mastered the art of farting in silence. BUT if the pungent smell fails me I can always blame it on Ethan! Hah! The benefits of having a KID! :P

But last night or should I say early this morning, I was dreaming. I dreamed that I needed to pass wind. I looked around to see if there’s anybody nearby and there was no one. So yeah, I farted.. only to feel a hard slap on my arm moments later!!! The slap on my arm felt so real that it jolts me awake and true enough, it was DARLING who ‘piak’ me on my arms!

I was about to scold him for waking me up before I heard him saying, “Ewwwwww YOU farted! Damn LOUD somemore! OMG! It was worse than a BOMB okay?!”

I quickly hid under my sheets!

iShy

About the Author: Merryn Tan

23 Comments + Add Comment

  • //

    Lidis oso can ah? Can’t believe you hv never farted in front of your other half, damn good in self-control la you. I can’t, how to suck it back le? LOL!

  • //

    HAHAHAHAHAHHA…. thanks for the morning ‘wake up’ joke.. :p

  • //

    So the next time if we hear you blame Ethan for it, we know who did it. hahahaha

  • //

    LOL. That is cute!

  • //

    lol! You farted in your dream. Muahahahah!

  • //

    I thought iPhone and iPad launched new apps called iFart. Yo!

  • //

    what’s so wrong w a fart ? marry him.. marry his fart too.. LOLOL !!!

  • //

    Hahahahaah…nothing wrong with farting. It’s nature’s call mah :)

  • //

    “You telan balik one is it?” Your darling is very funny! You are even funnier… tahan farting in front of him for 15 years. How did you do that? As for me, as long as I’m at home, I don’t care who hears or smells my fart haha. Only when I’m outside, I control la… :p

  • //

    Muahahahaha!! This is too funny!

    You terrer la, can control from passing wind. I can’t and don’t bother to control it at home. Of course when I go out, I need to be more like a lady. But still will let go, “pooot, poooot”, kakakaka!

  • //

    No worries! They say God is fair – as one grows older, the hearing goes but the fart gets louder. That’s why yours is loud now… Muahahahahahha!!!!!

  • //

    wahahahaha you fart in your dream. How come your darling can react so fast? Is he still awake that time?

    • //

      According to him it was damn loud that it woke him up :'(

  • //

    Hahaha finally your dream betrayed you!!! XD

  • //

    Hehehe, that is very funny and a good joke of a day. :)

  • //

    eheh..finally u did it~LOL

  • //

    hahahaha omigosh… didn’t expect this story from you at all xD

  • //

    wah, never fart in front of him for 15 years!!! Can enter Guinness Book of Record already!

  • //

    LOL!

  • //

    Hahahaha…serius ..entri ni kelakar..hahahaha..

  • //

    Huh? You farted in your dreams? So terror? Poor William! : D

  • //

    ROFL! ok . . . means u got the loudest fart . . . U WIN! :D

  • //

    *ketawa terbahak-bahak!!* …LOL, Merryn!! What else can I say?

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MeHome is where MY heart is.
I am a mother to two boys; Ethan and Ayden and a wife to Darling William. I'm a stay at home mum who blogs to break the monotony of life and to avoid feeling jaded. Would love to get to know all the Super Mommies and Daddies and Babies or Singles out there with the hope that we can learn more from each other. Most of all, I am a happy person, and I hope YOU are too.

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