Jan
5
2010

Till Death Do Us Part

Someone I know has recently gone through a horrendous turmoil in his marriage. What made his ‘love boat’ sail into turbulent waves and stormy seas, almost capsizing it, I’m not too sure.

Eugene once said, “There’s a void in our heart that sometimes even our spouse can’t fill”. In this world where IM is just at the click of a button, it’s easy to find comfort in a chat friend to fill that void. And as we become whole again, we get ‘addicted’ to that ‘wholesome’ feeling and unconsciously we’re drawn closer and closer to that friend each day. Why should we find comfort in others in the first place? Is there anything lacking in our marriage?

Unfortunately, people don’t often realize that their marriage is heading down south until it is a little too late. By then, the damage has already been done and it will take the strongest will power to get it back together. If the emotional roller coaster has not killed you, then you may still have a second chance at it. Try as you may, a broken heart does not heal easily. You may mend it but the cracks will stay to remind you of the past…

Back to that friend of mine, he found this Emotional Needs Questionnaire helpful in the journey of patching things up with his spouse. Now that he and his spouse are on the right track to recovery, he wants me to share this with others who may find that maybe this might actually help you to get to know your partner better. It might actually help you to discover what is lacking in the emotional needs of our spouse/partner.

I browse through it just now, no offense to my friend, but I am not a person who does this kind of thing. I was in the Sexual Fulfillment part where we are suppose to evaluate our sexual relations with our spouse. It goes from -3 (I am extremely dissatisfied) to the highest 3 (I am extremely satisfied). Now, what would happen IF one of us happenned to rate -3 as in EXTREMELY DISSATISFIED :( and the other rated 3 as in EXTREMELY SATISFIED :D? Boy I can sense some volcanoes erupting for sure!

But that is the whole purpose of this questionnaire isn’t it? To get to know your partner’s emotional needs better so we can work towards making it better. So to you guys out there, if you think you and your spouse are game enough, do try out the questionnaire. Who knows, you might actually find some skeletons in the closet being revealed at the end of the day..

If you find yourself doing this, you know you are in deep shit and is in need of a serious whack in the head! :D

About the Author: Merryn Tan

12 Comments + Add Comment

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chrisau January 6, 2010 at 8:24 am

haha…have to do it together with my wife. Well, see if I can remember to print it out tomorrow.

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Mummy Gwen January 6, 2010 at 9:40 am

My Hubby is not around ler. Will only be back 2 weeks from now…haha.

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Tekkaus January 6, 2010 at 1:33 pm

I thing it is all about trust. About that void. It is just an excuse made up for our own pleasure. I thing we should be loyal abstain from doing anything that will betray our spouse. :)As for me, I can't stop thinking about my family all the time. :D

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claire January 6, 2010 at 2:14 pm

wei.. i have to disqualify myself jor.. .. but i dont mind evaluating YOUR score for u.. :p

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suituapui January 6, 2010 at 3:08 pm

Good grief! Why's everyone on this topic? Before marriage, close one eye…and after marriage, close both eyes…and better still both ears too! Sure will last forever like this! Both partners…as both dua kali lima! Don't just finger point at the other – people often think they're perfect and the other isn't when in fact, they're not.

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Mei Teng January 6, 2010 at 4:31 pm

It's not only those who are in marriages that have "voids" in their lives. Even singles do. I am a Christian. I believe that only God can fill that void that's in there. Spouses can only do that much. They are still people and they are bound to weaknesses and all. That void is not meant to be filled with other things or other people.

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eugene January 6, 2010 at 5:33 pm

To me marriage akin to keeping your hobby alive for the rest of your life.take for example, i love running but if i were to run the same routes every i hit the road,then it becomes stale,doesn't it?so sometimes i have to take the trouble of driving 10kms away to find a new route to run.Marriage is like that too,humbly i say, we need to spring some surprises along the way, there goes for sex too.take care now….

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Merryn January 6, 2010 at 9:50 pm

Tekkaus – The void doesnt necessarily mean we will go astray. Sometimes, it's just a need to communicate with someone else.. Getting an input from elsewhere that might finally help us put that final piece of puzzle into place..

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Irene January 6, 2010 at 9:57 pm

tonite must try do this questionaire with hubs. hehe! but… what if do already, gaduh how? means we are in deep shit? hmmm…

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Merryn January 6, 2010 at 10:03 pm

Irene – THAT's the reason why I DID NOT do it! lol…. I don't want a certain questionnaire to ruin my marriage :D haha….

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Gallivanter January 7, 2010 at 12:31 am

It's good to do such questionnaires…it'll enable us to put the pin back in the grenade… :-)

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Cleffairy January 7, 2010 at 3:01 pm

I felt it before too…. you know… *sigh* The VOID. But I dun feel like finding another… you know why? Cuz one man is oredi troublesome enuff. LOL…

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About Me

Home is where MY heart is.
I am a mother to two boys; Ethan and Ayden and a wife to Darling William. I'm a stay at home mum who blogs to break the monotony of life and to avoid feeling jaded. Would love to get to know all the Super Mommies and Daddies and Babies or Singles out there with the hope that we can learn more from each other. Most of all, I am a happy person, and I hope YOU are too.