May
25
2015

Being Socially Active

One of the biggest sacrifice a stay at home mom does is giving up her social life. When I first gave up my job to be a stay at home mother many years ago, the thing that hit me the hardest was the lack of adult human communication and interaction. The loneliness within can really drive me up the wall. I went through a dark period where I kind of hated everything around me as I felt that I was not on the winning side of the game. There wasn’t Facebook or anything similar at that time so you can imagine the isolation I faced. 

My situation only improved when I started blogging. Blogging hooked me up with other like-minded mothers out there who are more or less in the same situation as I am. As we share the same interests, we became closer with some of them being my close friends now. 

My mother faced quite a similar situation when she shifted to her hometown in Malacca years ago. She had spent a considerably long period of her life in Perak where my father was based in the Navy. Her life long friends were all there. Back in Malacca, though she is not lonely (as she is surrounded by all her siblings and relatives) she was longing for more. She was missing her friends, her social life. Being a Malaccan Nyonya, she decided to join the Persatuan Peranakan Cina Malaysia and I can see her life picks up interestingly from there onwards.

Persatuan Peranakan Cina Malaysia

These days, I am happy to read her Whatsapp updates on the activities lining up for her. She will excitedly tell me what will be happening in the weeks to come. She (with my Dad) has even traveled to Singapore and China with these group members.

Mummy n Daddy in China

This is my parents on their recent trip to China with the Peranakan group members for some cultural activities. Look at my mom in her beautiful Nyonya kebaya. 

Just last Friday, my mother and my niece were busy making Tai Bak, a Peranakan delicacy for a charity event.

Tai Bak meaning

I am only aware of the origin and meaning of Tai Bak today after my mother sent me the above pic @_@ 

Only now I realised that each time my Mom made Tai Bak, she hopes that one day I will remember and crave for it so I will go back to visit. Yikes.. One thing for sure, I always try to make it a point to go back at least once a month but sometimes when work get in the way, we had to stretch it longer :(

But I don’t miss Tai Bak though. I am not a big fan of Tai Bak. I am a big fan of my mom’s nasi lemak and sambal, pongteh, curry and TAU FU FAH!

Anyway, back to that charity event, my mom and my niece were busy pressing (or making) Tai Bak last Friday. 
Mummy Peranakan

That is my niece (in black) and my Mom with a huge smile across her face. 

Persatuan Peranakan

Just looking at her smile is enough to warm my heart, knowing that my mom is happy and content.

Persatuan Peranakan Cina

The next day, they set up a stall at St Francis Institute to sell Taibak, Manggo Pickle and Kuih Genggang. They went as early as 7.30am and stayed until late afternoon. They managed to raise quite a lot of money for the school to build another 4 storey building. The people involved for this are all doing it voluntarily for charity. Though they were tired, they were very happy at the end of the day. 

I told Darling when I grow old, I would like to be like my Mom and be actively involved in some kind of association or anything so I can be socially active. Darling rolled his eyes upon hearing that and said, “When you grow OLD?! NOW also your blogging activities are making ME busy tak tentu pasal. When you grow OLD?!”

Hehe.. true also lah. These days, he sometimes has to check with me before calling for a meeting with his staffs or sometimes clients as I occasionally needs him to ‘ponteng’ from work to help me out with my blogging ‘job’. I guess I am doing okay for now as blogging keeps me on my toes. I appreciate all the opportunities that requires me to get out of my house as that means I can dress up, look nice and not be so aunty for that moment. Somehow, all these socialising makes me feel relevant :D

I still miss my parents though. Counting to the days until I’m back in Malacca again :)

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About the Author: Merryn Tan

9 Comments + Add Comment

  • //

    Yes, many drop out of their social circles once they marry and have kids and their lives centre around the hubby and the kids, no friends…except maybe a sprinkling among their colleagues if they’re working and even then, they’re not really close…as they only get to meet at work.

    I was like that too…and then, I got to make many friends via a radio programme, daily on weekdays…and we became like a “family” – the show is no longer on air…but I still do more or less the same thing via blogging. Same game, different name…but your social circle will grow only if you get to meet personally and become real friends. Virtual friends are somehow simply not the same…

    [Reply]

    suituapui Reply:

    Never tried tai bak, dunno what it is. They sell in the shops or not? KL got? Wish I could try. Hint! Hint!

    [Reply]

  • //

    Thanks for sharing your story. Glad everything alright in the end. You look great now. Still pretty, active and sexy SAHM.

    For me, it was not so bad. I have FB, blog and you guys to accompany me. Haha. I just been SAHM for 2 years and counting. And glad I am starting to go out, meet up with friends and have some chatting.

    [Reply]

  • //

    Good to know that your mother is happy being active in charity and raising funds and also travelling with the new group she joined. And you too for being a sought after blogger. Must not forget your husband who is so caring to schedule his activities after confirming with you. Keep up the blogging!

    [Reply]

  • //

    My wife also same as you, she stopped working after having our first kid. Sometimes I wondered whether its a good idea to ask her to work again when the kids grow bigger but then, she also not that confident already with her skills. Anyway, she’s real busy sending the kids around so at least that keep her occupied.

    Yeah, nice of your mom and nieces did something for the school via the association.

    [Reply]

  • //

    Lovely, lovely post this one. So touching to read that you are counting your days before you are back again. You must be very attached to your parents and that’s really sweet. :)

    [Reply]

  • //

    I always tell Kenny, William is the best husband in the world by looking at how he sending you to every event and taking care of the kids while you are busy with your blogging, haha!

    [Reply]

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MeHome is where MY heart is.
I am a mother to two boys; Ethan and Ayden and a wife to Darling William. I'm a stay at home mum who blogs to break the monotony of life and to avoid feeling jaded. Would love to get to know all the Super Mommies and Daddies and Babies or Singles out there with the hope that we can learn more from each other. Most of all, I am a happy person, and I hope YOU are too.

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