Jun
3
2011

Tiger Mother

Heard of the Tiger Mother Facebook Discussion tab? I was in Friso GUT FB page yesterday and stumbled upon that Tiger Mother discussion and it reminded me of something..

Remember when ParenThots interviewed me not too long ago regarding toy guns? They featured two mothers in their article. One mother who agrees to letting their kids play with toy guns and another mother (yup, that’s me) who disagrees. I received a mixture of favourable and unfavourable comments when I shared that article in FB.

It just proved that it is very subjective when parenting is concern. What is right for me might not necessarily be right for you and vice versa. But I think I’m not wrong when I say that whatever we do, we do it with our child’s best interest in mind. In our relentless determination to path the way for our child’s success, we might lose track of what is important. We might get over-board. We might succumb to the obsessive parenting trap.

In her memoir “Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother”, Amy Chua explains the Chinese-American method of raising children namely “Chinese Mothers” acting as tigers that want full control over the destiny of their children, believing that they know best while “Western Mothers” opt for freedom and the joy of exploration on their children.

Let’s look beyond race as it is unfair to stereotype Chinese and Western mothers in this sense. I’m Chinese and though I might appear strict with my many fusses, I believe I’m the most lenient mother in the world! :P

So I taught Ethan to read from the tender age of 16 months old as shown in my post here and now he is an independent reader at the age of 3 years plus. I did not push him because I am a Tiger Mother, instead I guided him because I can.

We always have a reason for everything we decide for our kids. Amy Chua never allows her daughters to

attend a sleepover
have a playdate
be in a school play
complain about not being in a school play
watch TV or play computer games
choose their own extracurricular activities
get any grade less than an A
not be the No. 1 student in every subject except gym and drama
play any instrument other than the piano or violin
not play the piano or violin

Sounds harsh? Read this..

Amy Chua was in a restaurant, celebrating her birthday with her husband and daughters, Sophia, seven, and Lulu, four. “Lulu handed me her ‘surprise’, which turned out to be a card,” writes Chua in her explosive new memoir, Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother. “More accurately, it was a piece of paper folded crookedly in half, with a big happy face on the front. Inside, ‘Happy Birthday, Mummy! Love, Lulu’ was scrawled in crayon above another happy face. I gave the card back to Lulu. ‘I don’t want this,’ I said. ‘I want a better one – one that you’ve put some thought and effort into. I have a special box, where I keep all my cards from you and Sophia, and this one can’t go in there.’ I grabbed the card again and flipped it over. I pulled out a pen and scrawled ‘Happy Birthday Lulu Whoopee!’ I added a big sour face. … ‘I reject this.'”

How could she? Art and craft play a very important part of my and Ethan’s lives. If you still don’t know, we are the team behind Crafty-Crafted Studio. I can NEVER reject ANY artwork by a child!

What do YOU think? Back to that Tiger Mother Facebook discussion tab, there are debates already taking place there. Read what other parents have to say about that Mama Grisly (the nickname was inevitable, darn spot-on!). Are you a Tiger Mother yourself? Find out and join other Tigress or non-tigress in the most intense debate ever! Now.. I still can’t get over the fact she rejected Lulu’s artwork! Let me go bising there first! >_<

14 Comments + Add Comment

  • //

    ok.. first time after the migration! NICE!!

    but about parenting? Think I am still in the learning stage with Princess growing stage, so I am more a 'let her be' mummy than a 'go get A' mummy… I myself can't say I am a A1 mummy!!

    [Reply]

    Merryn Reply:

    Cyn,

    I think no one can declare themselves a pro in parenting lah kan? we all learn throughout our lives to be a better parent even if we are old and crumpled as grandparents :D

    [Reply]

  • //

    I'm not a parent but I think there's no right or wrong in parenting.

    The method which motivates a child may demotivate another. It really depends on how children learn because each child learns different at different paces. So the key is to really know a child's learning pattern and nurture him/her accordingly…

    [Reply]

    Merryn Reply:

    Yes Jamiey,

    Being a parent, often we are thrown into situations where we ourselves are unsure of what is right and what is wrong but at the end of the day, what we think is best for the child is most important. However, what is best for the child might not be FUN to them therefore, we need to have some balance in everything we do :)

    [Reply]

  • //

    To me shaping a good behaviour and attitude since young is most important to me…..

    [Reply]

    Merryn Reply:

    Yee Ling,

    Totally agree with you. Let them be kids and enjoy their childhood :)

    [Reply]

  • //

    I am a tikus papa…. everything also buy ..everything also give till my wifey controls. hahaha

    [Reply]

    Merryn Reply:

    tsk tsk.. go buy a mouse trap :P

    [Reply]

  • //

    Such mothers (and fathers) may have psychological issues – a deprived childhood, abused perhaps…emotionally if not physically – in other words, they are sick in the head. What goes around comes around – they will always get it back someday…when the ticking time bomb explodes! I've seen so many over the years – among my students.

    [Reply]

    Merryn Reply:

    So true STP.

    [Reply]

  • //

    Well, she's not called a Tiger Mother for no reason, right? I agree that the card rejection part is a bit too much. I get "ugly" cards and notes from Chloe all the time but tak sampai hati reject any of them at all. Instead I tell her they are nice to encourage her write/draw more.

    [Reply]

    Merryn Reply:

    My heart sank when I read that she rejected the bday card :(

    [Reply]

  • //

    LOL, you are certainly not a tiger mom… you are the dream mom tht every child could ask for: fun activities, cool outing and great junks and desserts, lol! Give a pat on your back Merryn!

    [Reply]

    Merryn Reply:

    Yikes to the great junks n desserts! Lol! :D

    [Reply]

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MeHome is where MY heart is.
I am a mother to two boys; Ethan and Ayden and a wife to Darling William. I'm a stay at home mum who blogs to break the monotony of life and to avoid feeling jaded. Would love to get to know all the Super Mommies and Daddies and Babies or Singles out there with the hope that we can learn more from each other. Most of all, I am a happy person, and I hope YOU are too.

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