Jan
19
2010

Taken for Granted

I must say I’ve a really wonderful life. Darling being the sole breadwinner, I have the luxury of being a SAHM. While others are slogging to make ends meet, I am rather ‘comfortable‘ staying at home with Ethan.

To keep myself ‘in touch’ with the outside world, I started blogging a little over a year ago. Over time, my online activities started to take control over me. I complained to Darling that:

1) my dial-up connection is inadequate
– He upgraded it to Streamyx, only to be told it was not ‘fast’ enough. He then upgraded it to a higher speed connection.

2) the old PC is taking forever to start up and do anything
– He bought me a brand new desktop with the highest specs possible and complete it with a brand new workstation.

3) the old chair is ‘killing’ my back
– He brought me to IKEA to get a chair that suits my needs

I don’t remember thanking him for all of the above. Instead, I glued my butt to the chair and sat in front of the PC 24/7. Each time Darling is back, I happily handed Ethan over to him and started blogging.

I was more interested in reading blogs and communicating with fellow bloggers rather than spending quiet evening time with him.

“Grass is always greener on the other side”, so they say. What they don’t know is, the grass is greener because it is nourished with lots of manure and if you ever stepped foot on it, you’ll know it is not as pleasant as it seemed to be.

The grass on my side, however wilted it may be, is organically nourished with lots of tender, loving care.

What Foong wrote about me in his tribute to fellow blogger friends really hit me hard.. He wrote..

Merryn is someone whom I love to get to know better,
Cos it’s actually her cutie two year old son Ethan that I am after,
No I’m not a pedophile if that’s what you fear,
Anyway, Merryn thanks for following me on Twitter!

I have been ‘blinded’ but now I can see again. Now that I’ve started working again and finally have some ‘real’ human communication and touch, I just realised that..

I’ve lost my identity. All over the world, I am now known as Ethan’s mom. I used to be a very outgoing person. A person of my own. Being a stay at home mom for over two years has finally taken its toll on me. I have been deprived of real human contact (other than Darling) for so long that I eventually turned to the cyberworld for comfort.

It almost took over me that I never realised that the best and most understanding friend that I have been desperately seeking has always been there by my side; supporting me, letting me find my true self and loving me no matter what. Being back in the working world helps… a lot!

I have all these while felt that he ‘OWED’ me that much as I’ve ‘sacrificed’ my freedom to stay at home to care for Ethan. But now I know, he owes me nothing as we are all in this together; Me, Darling and Ethan.

No doubt I love blogging, but I love my family more. In the end, it all comes to the perfect balance of time management. These days, when I blog, I invite him to sit next to me and blog hop together. Slowly, I’m teaching him to blog too :D

Don’t take your loved ones for granted. Sit back and ponder on what they have done for you. Often we never realised it until it’s too late.. As for me, I’m no longer the ‘lost’ submerryn. I’ve resurface and this time, I’m back.. stronger and smarter :)

As the saying goes, “If you can’t fight them, join them”. In my case, I’d prefer for Darling to join me :D

About the Author: Merryn Tan

56 Comments + Add Comment

  • //

    wowo… you are a lucky girl!! appreciate those who loves you that much!!! and I am sure your Darling is one that love you to the MAX!! You sure a lucky ones!!!

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    yes, u are very lucky…… Afiqah, Apasal Nangis????Jom Esso Card

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    If only hubby wants to join me in the blogging world. He is more interested with his newspaper and tv show. We only have 1 common interest, which is FOOD!

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    Your Darling is such a great man..cherish each other. :) Alamak…Merryn, the thing you said about losing your identity is so true. :( I'm worse..in a foreign land now.

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    "1) my dial-up connection is inadequate- He upgraded it to Streamyx, only to be told it was not 'fast' enough. He then upgraded it to a higher speed connection.2) the old PC is taking forever to start up and do anything- He bought me a brand new desktop with the highest specs possible and complete it with a brand new workstation.3) the old chair is 'killing' my back- He brought me to IKEA to get a chair that suits my needs"those are so sweet :)

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    Cynthia – Yes, I'm counting my lucky stars now.. :)mNhL- Yes lor. Mine oso not too interested in blogging. But I get him to sit with me nevertheless.. just to spend time together .. lol..MummyGwen – You hang in there. Hope you'll make great friends there in Jakarta :) And we are all still here for ya! :DRingo – NOW I know he is super sweet… :)

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    The heartfelt words of a "lonely" SAHM… this is so true, Merryn. I keep reminding myself not to neglect my family too, which is why I don't go online at night. You have a very loving hubby :-) Lucky you!

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    U have a lovely family dear. Blogging is a must if u love it, but time management is also important! Get ur whole family to do activities together, builds rapport, can do catch up and the bonds will all be so strong! :)Stay afloat Submerryn! ;)

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    Chloe – I guess most stay at home mothers will kinda understand what i went thru.. it's just what they do to overcome the 'boredom' that is different.. each of us have a different way to stay sane.. n for me, going back to work is the answer.. :) becoz i can work and hav ethan with me at the same time.. it's a win win situation :)

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    Kristie – thanx for your encouragement.. I'll stay afloat.. you'll see :)

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    :( You think I never felt how you felt? I feel trapped at home sometimes, and just having the two sharks to communicate with almost drive me suicidal, no joke. I am like you… more or less… I am like you. Did you read wud I wrote? Those horseback riding, swimming, playing chess, archery, bowling, and wishing to go to the beaches and stuff?I was a very, very carefree and sweet girl. But along the way being Adrian's mum… I lost that, because my world suddenly centered around him, and him only. It is more worst when he's not a regular child. And like you, I feel my husband owe me all my freaking freedom cuz I gave up so many things for them both! And worst off… I dun feel appreciated…because everytime things goes wrong, everyone point fingers at me!I think, I'm almost in the same boat as Mummy Gwen. Out of this world liao. Luckily you all came along to give me comfort. :DMy husband… he may treat me very good. But sometimes, I feel like I'm being mentally abused, and I am not myself anymore, and the only time I can be myself is when i'm writing my novel. That's the only time I can be myself. Do you understand what I'm saying? I'm not sure lerr…I dunno wud I'm saying. i go cry first oni later come back continue write. T_T i go sobsob first!

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    What you said is really true. We spent so much online that we lose touch with the real world. It is great that you have a great support at home. He must loves the you a lot!

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    Cleffairy – I truly understand what you are going thru. The moment I learnt bout Adrian's condition I totally knew what you have been thru. At your age and the responsibility that you had to take.. it's not easy. I have Ethan, the most wonderful child I can ever ask for, and yet I still feel this way.. If I were in your shoes, I know I'd feel worse.. Sorry for making you cry, but, that is just the fact of our lives now isn't it? We just have to make the most of it, appreciate the people around us. And appreciate the good friends you've made here thru blogging for we are all here for you lizzie… I'm just a fon call away.. *hugs*

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    *sniff* *sniff* errr… i duno how to write out the blowing nose sound here. haha! anyway, good post. hugs!

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    Want to call, but can't call. Why? Cuz sobbing away and can't tok. Aihhh…but dun worry…I have my letters to comfort myself with and a cat to hug. :-D (my cat is probably the only one who can make me feel appreciated. LOL… she's a good cat!)It's really not easy for me, but everything oso have to telan. I have no choice. But now… slowly…I'm trying to be my old self and learn to let go of those things that I can't really control. So… whatever will be, will be…hope for the best, brace for the worst.The things that happened in 2009 taught me that much; I have to learn to love myself first before I love others.And yes, thank God for all of you. You all made me realized that I am not alone, everyone have their own problems. And God still loves me after all. I've closed up my heart towards people for so long, and now that I'm opening my heart once again…I feel more blessed. I once said you, Claire, Shakira, STP, Eugene and many more are godsent… I'm not just saying lerr…I really mean it. I finally 'see' what god is trying to show me. He's asking me to 'wake up'.LOL.

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    Luckily your other half wants to surf with you. Hopefully, someday mine will too…

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    Good post there, you have reminded me lots of things to appreciate and appreciate…

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    Yes…family bonding is most important. Some are glued to the tv – that is just as bad! Blogging is fun/good…but one must get his/her priorities right!

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    Awww…you are so lucky. Can I be your husband concubine? :p

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    *sniffing and dap dap dap eyes*what a touching post that made me feel guilty as well.. after reading this, i better not think blog. eat blog, sleep blog.. To mean what I hv just said, i have changed my profile.. like u said, must balance the priorities, for me, it is my kids.. once they r home, i must spend more time with them instead of eating blogs.. (they make me full one, serious) so now i better be back to a normal mum.. no more slogging or blogging "madlessly"…

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    Now I'm gonna go play with the kids, instead of sitting in front of the laptop. This is a great reminder, Merryn. Thx!

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    so sweet of you merryn!! you are indeed a lucky woman

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    A very lovely post. Really give me a deep thought it.Blogging really takes up a lot of time. That's why I hardly blog nowadays as I have less time for the cyber world. Somehow, I also felt guilty for not visiting my blog friends for so long…Well..time management..u are right…we need to juggle everything well in 24 hrs precious time we have.

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    so…your darling is going to have his own blog?

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    wow..so 'han fook' indeed!

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    That's a really nice post. I totally agree about the "identity" part. Elyssa is the most precious thing in the world to me, but I alwiz tell myself that I cannot let my world completely revolve around her. Mummy needs a life too :) Btw, your hubby is just so sweet. Lucky you!

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    Cleffairy – So wake up we will all DO! We are our own alarm clock and let's all wake UP! :DDak Wan – He is still not surfing together with me YET. Maybe he will.. someday :)Lemonjude – Yes, appreciate. Appreciate everything around us before it's too late… STP – Yes SIR! Heard you loud and clear.. no worries. William and I are heading to the right direction now…

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    Tekkaus – You can be the porcupine lah! lol…Claire – YOU not blogging often is like 2012 leh! Kenot believe!!! hahahaSlavemom – :D Go play with the kids.. after that.. I'll see you in front of the laptop again.. hahaha2ma – We all need a wake up call some stage of our lives.. mine just came this morning .. Baby Darren – Don't think too much bout it. You frighten me whenever you think too much! Just enjoy your life and let it flow.. :)

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    small kucing – I don't think so.. His English… hmm…. Let's just say.. I don't think so.. hahahhahaChrisau – What is 'han fook' ? Aiyo me banana dun understand all this…Adrine – :) Thanx. We mothers sometimes.. sigh.. it's just so hard to strike a balance.. rite?

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    You've got a good husband. Hehe. Sometimes we need to balance in our life in all aspects. Not easy to do it.

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    What a mind-awakening post Merryn!Hmmmm… I should also 'sayang' my darling more too ~ cook more, bake more ~:P

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    Superman – If you can't balance eh.. you fly high high.. then you sure crash one! :PHN – Yes, cook more, bake more :D

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    @Cikgu… I am glued to the pc when nobody is around to teman me or when I cannot sleep. I'm so good, horr? Ahahahaha! *grinz* And dono whether this is considered lucky anot, but my husband is a blogger too… worst… he's the female submerryn…glued to the pc all da time. Tsk tsk tsk! That's where I get my habit from. LMAO…@Merryn… den I'm considered lucky, hor… my husband is the one who taught me all these techie tech stuff…

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    LOL….'han fook' in canto means you're blissful! Have a good day!

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    keep it up! u r doing well.

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    That is why I do not blog during weekends, public holidays or in the evenings. I blog from 9 to 5 from Mon to Fri only. lol. And I've cut down my afternoon blogging as well, so that I can spend more time with the kids when they get home from school.However, unlike you, I do not feel like I have lost my identity. Perhaps it is because I enjoy the solitude and I enjoy being "stuck" with the kids. Close friends and sisters say they will go "mad" if they stay at home with the kids so much but for me, I actually feel happy accept for those hard days which everyone has every now and then. :)

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    well come back.

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    I wont take you for granted either,, take care with a lot of love to you, will, and ethan,,,god bless

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    Gambateh gambateh, Merryn. You re doing a great great job.

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    Very, very true indeed ..

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    LOL….'han fook' in canto means you're blissful! Have a good day!

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    Your hubby is a great "MAN"…

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    how lucky…but P doesnt want to sit beside me for blogging!!! :pJ

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    Wow, you are back to work? I am looking for one in March since my son started car pool..need money to survive. Any job vacancies, let me know, thanks!

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    you are such a lucky girl Merryn! And a wise wife and mom too. I am glad you didn't let blog or internet takeover the priority of your family life.

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    You are really very lucky to get yourself such a good husband! Ya ya, we shall appreciate what we got, don't take it as granted.

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    My Darling wont join me blog hopping. He prefers to TV channel hop hahahah!

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    My Add mathematic still can apply here:Handsome hubby + Young pretty merryn + cute Ethan + Y = Happy & fantastic family.Y = Clefairy’s 2 days ago’s post + 9 months.What is Y?Er… I think I make a comment out of topic.. let me read through again,LOL! Have he join you yet? Time management is important…If my wife blogging until 24/7… I will “gantung sampai mati”

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    Voon – I failed my add math in skul u know! Now you giving me this formula lagi! lol.. ada Y factor lagi! hahahahaha… aiyo.. hahahhahaa.. :P

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    HFM – Yup, William found the TV to be more interesting too. lol.. he said he wonder what is so nice bout blogging :DCindy – Yes, appreciate all we have before it's too late :)JH – I'm glad I came to my senses soon enough before further damage is being done .. Iriene – Let's join me in Vital Years :D

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    Cleffairy – Your hubs a blogger too? Whoa.. apa dia punya url? :Pmumsgather – You are a great mom. I salute you :)Ivynana – Welcome back? haha.. ok. guess i'm back..Eugene – Aww… I know you won't take me for granted.. You thought me to use Bygone, remember? :DMummy Ling – YOU take care now.. been sick and all. Rest alot ok?Chrisau – Oh ok.. Thank you. hahahaMery – Thankx :DLady J – P wants to manja with you lah! :P

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    you are lucky to have such a nice and understanding hubby.. great that you have finally realised not to take things for granted.. instead of looking at what he has not done, look at what he has done for you.. that should make you feel happier.. :)

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    u r truly blessed :)Time for you to have #2. Dont take it for granted. u need to work hard for it. and since u r at home taking care of 1, why not have another. this yr is good yr la..3 yrs difference from Ethan ;-)

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    That's agood realization for you, I always try to take care of my hubs and treat him like my baby even if i have bunch of works to do. I still want to continue doing that even if our baby comes out this feb. BTW merryn what's your FB? I've been wanting to add you up…

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    Just wondering if eBay enables you to sell [url =http://www.ticketchoice.com.au]concert tickets[/url] online? Do you know if you can find any restrictions depending on what country you're in?My parents have just referred to as me and asked if i could "get rid" of their two tickets to some concert as they wont be able to make it as a result of another family event.Besides asking close friends etc, i thought ebay would be an excellent location to market them.But whats ebay's policy on marketing tickets? Ive heard alot about it around the news but ive forgotten what happened.and if it matters, the concert is inside of this coming monthThanks ahead of time for your advice.

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    Just wondering if eBay allows you to market [url =http://www.ticketchoice.com.au]concert tickets[/url] online? Do you know if you can find any restrictions depending on what country you're in?My parents have just referred to as me and asked if i could "get rid" of their two tickets to some concert as they wont be able to make it due to another family event.Besides asking pals etc, i thought ebay would be a great location to market them.But whats ebay's policy on offering tickets? Ive heard alot about it for the news but ive forgotten what happened.and if it matters, the concert is within this coming monthThanks ahead of time for the advice.

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About Me

MeHome is where MY heart is.
I am a mother to two boys; Ethan and Ayden and a wife to Darling William. I'm a stay at home mum who blogs to break the monotony of life and to avoid feeling jaded. Would love to get to know all the Super Mommies and Daddies and Babies or Singles out there with the hope that we can learn more from each other. Most of all, I am a happy person, and I hope YOU are too.

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